Call Center Bloopers Part II

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'. Actual dialogue of a former Word Perfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!) :

Operator : 'Mark Spencer, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller : 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with Word Perfect.'
Operator : 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller : 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away'
Operator : 'Went away?'
Caller : 'They disappeared.'
Operator : 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller : 'Nothing.'
Operator : 'Nothing??'
Caller : 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator : 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller : 'How do I tell?'
Operator : 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller : 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator : 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller : 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator : 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller : 'What's a monitor?'
Operator : 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller : 'I don't know.'
Operator : 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller : 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator : 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller : 'Yes, it is.'
Operator : 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller : 'No.'
Operator : 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller : 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator : 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller : 'I can't reach.'
Operator : 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller : 'No.'
Operator : 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller : 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator : 'Dark??'
Caller : 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator : 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller : 'I can't.'
Operator : 'No? Why not??'
Caller : 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator : 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator : 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller : 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator : 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller : 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator : 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

Source: http://yasminjokes.blogspot.com/2008/03/actual-call-center-conversations-part.html

Paano kung walang Call Center sa 'Pinas?

Paano nga ba? Siguro ako at ang mga katulad ko na humigit kumulang 350,000 Call Center Agents nationwide ay sumasahod ng mas maliit kaysa kinikita namin ngayon. Pero yun nga lang, siguro hindi kami puyat.

Siguro wala kang masasalubong  na bagong ligo na papasok sa gabi at uuwi ng umagang-umaga eh ngarag na. Wala ng everyday hiring.Walang aplikante na aabutin ang hating gabi para lang matapos ang one day application process. Wala kang makikita  na nagkukumpulan at nagyoyosi sa harap ng building disoras ng gabi.

Kung walang Call Center hindi kumita ang ating bansa ng humigit kumulang US$9 Billion this year which represent 49.5% of the country's gross domestic product (GDP) this year. Ibig sabihin halos kalahati ng ating GDP is attributed to Call Centers. This is according to ABS-CBN NEWS.

Most of the Call Center Agents I know use their income to send themselves or someone to school, support their familiy and bring food to the table.

Kaya kahit pagod at puyat araw araw,atleast we are doing something for the benefit of our love ones and our country. Yan lang muna at matutulog pa ako. Mamayang gabi pasok na naman. Zzzzzz.......

When not to say God Bless you?

Two days na lang December na naman.. Eto ay masayang buwan na ating ginugunita among Christians all over the world but not all.


Just recently we were advised NOT to greet our callers "Merry Christmas" nor "God bless" you because this word might ruin our day. The next question is why? One of our agent, the supervisor continued, end the call with "God bless you" and the customer start looking for a manager. The customer became irate and informed the manager not to allow their agents to say "God bless you" because not all callers are Christians.

Napaisip tuloy ako bakit ang customer na eto ayaw nya marinig ang katagang "God bless you". It is really frightening because the name "Jesus Christ" is just a mere expressions to him. Is this customer not afraid of the third Commandment of God?
Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain. (Exodus 20:7)

Naalala ko tuloy noong may dollar coin pa ako, alam ko may nakasulat doon " In God We Trust". Dapat galit din sya sa pera kasi halos parehas lang yun sa "God bless you". Unfortunately, wala na ako dollar$ ngayon. When I check the Dollar coin images in Google wala na rin pala nakalagay na "In God We trust"? 

Napa-research tuloy ako kung kelan pa tinanggal ang "In GOd we trust sa Dollar coin at eto ang aking natunghayan from this source.

Since the 1950’s, "In God We Trust" has been our National Motto, and has been inscribed on the front of all coins and the back of all paper currency.
This new coin came out this month (March 2007). The U.S. Mint hopes the redesigned $1 coin will win acceptance with consumers.

It does not have "In God We Trust" on it. Here's another way of phasing God out of America.

I have two things for you to ponder before you finish reading this blog. One, who is the U.S President in 2007 who hope to win the acceptance of these consumers instead of hoping to win the acceptance of God Almighty?

Second, what happened to the United States of America after removing the "In God We trust" seal?

Call Center Terminologies

Account = This defines what business do you cater. Technical account, telecomunications, etc.

ACW =  Aftercall Work. Eto yung pinipindot pag tapos na ang tawag mo pero di pa tapos documentation mo. Dapat 1 minute lang kasi tatawagan ka ng workforce kapag sumobra ng 1 minute.

AHT = Average Handling Time. Eto yung kung gaano ka katagal sa isang tawag on the average. Mas maiksi AHT mas maganda.

Aux = eto yung pinipindot para magbreak, magmeeting o kaya maglunch.

Auto in = Eto ang pinipindot kapag sisimulan na ang pagtanggap ng tawag.

Avail = Konti lang ang tawag. Eto yung pinapanalangin lagi ng mga call centers agent. Hind ko alam bakit nag-apply pa sila as call center kung ayaw nila makatangap ng tawag.

Avaya = Eto yung tawag sa telepono.

Barge = eto yung ginagawa ng mga Q.A para panoorin at pakingan kung tama ang ginagawa mo. Huwag kang magalala pwede mo sila tanungin pag di ka sigurado sa gagawin mo.

Call in = Eto ang dapat mo gawin kapag di ka makakapasok. Take note hindi pwede ang text kahit wala ka na boses dapat tawag pa din. ahaha.

Call simulation = Eto yung para sa mga applicant na nakapasa sa preliminary interview. Magpapangap na customer yung interviewer tapos call center agent yung applicant. Practice kumbaga. Hehe

Ctrl + Alt + Del = Lock you PC.Pindutin mo yan bago ka umalis  ng station mo.

Client = Sila yung mga Bigboss sa call center. Karaniwan sa kanila ay Amerikano, Negro o kaya ay Indiano.

Dayoff = Eto yung gabi na wala kami pasok. Ang gabi sa amin ay araw. Kaya dayoff para rin ang tawag.

Escalate the call = Itransfer mo na yung call sa supervisor

Floor = Dito ang lugar kung saan tinatangap ang tawag.
Headset = sel explanatory

Ghost call = Eto yung pag tumawag sayo si Casper the friendly ghost. Ay, mali pala. Eto yung pag may pumasok na tawag pero wala naman sumasagot. Malay mo si Casper nga yun.

KPI = Key Performance Indicator. Eto ang panukat sa performance mo tulad ng AHT, attendance at Q.A.

Kids = Tawag eto ng mga Trainer/ TL Sa kanilang agents.

LOB = Line of Business. Eto yung mga department sa isang account.

Lunch = One hour break eto. Kahit Madaling araw pa yan, lunch pa din tawag namin dyan.

Nesting = Dito ka first time na tumawag. Dito may roving supurvisor na pwede mo pagtanguan kaya ok lang lagi magtanong.

OB = Overbreak. Huwag ka magalala hindi eto ibabawas sa sahod mo.

NCNS = No call No show. Nag absent ka ng hindi nagpaalam. Disqualified ka na for promotion. You have to wait 6 months for you to qualify again.

Personal Break = Eto yung ipapaalam mo sa TL mo kapag natatae ka na, nai-ihi, nau-utot oh gusto mo lang magpetiks. Alangan naman umutot ka sa station mo baka maamoy pa ng kausap mo sa telepono, este yung katabi mo pala.

Production = Dito nagaganap ang pagtanggap ng mga tawag.

Q.A. = Quality Assurance. Eto yung tagapuna ng mali mo. Kung wala kang mali di yung tama ang pupunahin nila. hehe

Queueing = Madaming tawag. Eto yung katatapos pa lang ng isang tawag mo. Bago mo malunok laway mo papasukan ka na naman ng bagong tawag.

Service Level = Ilan ang nasagot na tawag divided by ilan ang pumasok na tawag.

Spiel = Thankyou for calling. Basta yan na yun.

TL = Eto ang Tawag mo sa Supervisor mo. Pwede rin Sup.
Agent = Kami yun, mga call center agent. Gising sa gabi. Tulog sa umaga.

Warm transfer = Kausapin mo muna yung tao na pagta-transferan mo ng call bago mo itransfer.

Workforce = Sila yung gumagawa ng schedule ng mga agent.
Y-jack = Eto yung cord na ginagamit kapag gusto mo manood at makainig sa calls ng isang agent.

Zzzzz.... = Tulog yung agent Sa Floor.

Pano kung yung Crush mo may P and F Syndrome?

 
Nakita mo yung crush mo na may kausap sa bago nyang cellphone. Lalapitan mo sana sya para magpa-impress kaya lang naunahan ka pa nya magpa-impress kasi bigla nyang in-english yung kausap nya nung alam nyang papalapit ka na.

Nakatingin ka na sa kanya at bumubilis ang pintig ng iyong puso habang papalapit ka sa kanya ng marinig mo yung sinabi sa kausap nya " BE NICE TO PAT FIFOL". Hindi ka makapaniwala sa narinig mo kaya lalo mo pinagbuti ang pakikinig habang kunyari may ka-text ka at sabi pa sa KAUSAF nya "Yes I will watch Manny FACQUIAO PIGHT  we have FAY-FER-BIEW FREMIERSIF FLUS matches.

Nagdalawang isip ka ngayon na lapitan sya kasi di pa sila tapos ng kausap nya sa cellphone kaya nginitian mo na lang sya. Ngumiti rin naman sya sayo at binati ka pa nga ng "HI PREN". Babalikan mo pa kaya sya pagkatapos ng kausap nya o TURN OPP ka na? Hindi FA? FANOORIN mo to para ma-PEEL mo ibig ko sabihin.



A PROPER CUP OF COFFEE IN A PROPER COPPER COFFEE POT.

Pati mga kano hirap din. Hehe. Ang mahirap sa P and F syndrome hindi natin alam na meron tayo nito hangang sa may iba makapagsabi sa atin. At kapag meron ka nito, naku po, huwag mo muna balakin mag-apply sa Call Center. Attend ka muna ng Call Center Training at smile lang muna sa crush mo para hindi mapurnada ang diskarte.